Parks and Recreation Premieres Tonight at 8:30 on NBC!

To make sure you tune in, let’s review your other TV options for tonight at 8:30 and confirm Parks and Rec is the BEST option.

1) The Spring Gem Event Finale on Homeshopping Network

- Oh wow, yeah, the preceding episodes of the Spring Gem Event were so gripping. Lord knows how they’ll end the season!! Oh, I know, by selling more fucking gems you can order by phone. This show is garbage. PASS.

2) Bones on FOX

- Dave Boreanaz supports child labor and only uses children from Indonesia to work on the set of this show. Anyone with a conscious should boycott this. PASS.

3) Samantha Who? on ABC

- Christina Applegate is notorious for setting up sham charities and using the funds to buy firearms to shoot defenseless animals. NO THANKS.

4) The first 30 minutes of Man of the Year starring Robin Williams - E!

-  I heard Robin Williams spits on all his fans. PASS.

4) Cuidado con el Angel on Telemundo

- The show is in Spanish. I don’t know what’s going on. PASS.

5) Speeders on TruTV (formerly Court TV I think)

- You get to see a children’s photographer, a would be bridesmaid rushing to console a would-be bride, and an aspiring actor all getting speeding tickets. Alright this sounds dope, DVR it and watch it later.