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I play Tom Haverford on NBC's Parks and Recreation.



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January 24
Permalink

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS: THE CHRONICLES OF SMASH

This is the first in a series of “Friday Night Lights” fan fiction that I may or may not continue. I am writing this in response to this NYTimes article.

EPISODE 1 

Its Monday morning and Brian “Smash” Williams is getting ready to go to school. There is a knock at the door. Smash’s mom opens the door.

“Who are you and why are you at my house?”

“I’m a recruiter Mrs. Williams, I’m here about your son.”

“I thought I told y’all to leave me and my family alone. Smash isn’t making any verbal committments to any schools!”

“Mrs. Williams. I’m not from any college. I’m from a special unit of the CIA. I was at the Panthers game last Friday and I’m certain that Smash is the fastest human being alive. I’d like him to join a special elite unit in the military and go on top secret missions to save the world. These missions are very dangerous and require men with the utmost speed.”

“What?”

“Momma, I gotta do this,” said Smash.

“What about your job at the Alamo Freeze?” asked his mother.

“This is more important than the Alamo Freeze! I’ll get Saracen to cover my shifts!”

“Alright.”

Smash and his CIA recruiter, Ron Davidson, are in a conference room with a bunch of high level military officers. The team leader, Sgt. Griggs, is going over the mission.

“Alright, here’s the deal gentlemen. Al Qaeda has a nuclear device hidden in this bunker. We’re gonna have troops create a diversion with an attack on this safe house at the east.

Once this diversion is created, we need someone to run in and grab the nuclear device and bring it back to the chopper where we can lock it down and disarm it.

The thing is, once you remove the nuclear device, you have 30 seconds to rush it over 100 yards back to the evac chopper, or the device will explode.”

“100 yards? 30 seconds? That’s impossible,” exclaimed Davidson.

“I can do it,” said the Smash. “It’s just Smashball baby!”

“Alright, let’s move out!”

It’s the middle of the desert. Smash is in his helicopter. They are about to create the diversion. Everyone is counting on Smash.

“I don’t know if I can do this Sgt. Griggs, its so much pressure,” said Smash.

“We thought you might get nervous. Here, I got a friend that wants to have a word with you.”

From the front of the aircraft, we see…

“Coach Taylor?!”

“Hey there Smash. Look, I know your nervous. A lot of people are depending on you. But you can do this son! I’ve seen you do it on the field time and time again. You’ve done it for the Panthers and now you’re gonna do it for America. Look at me.”

They join hands.

“CLEAR EYES! FULL HEARTS! CAN’T LOSE!”

The helicopter pilot looks back. It’s Buddy Garrity. “You can do it son,” he says with a big grin and thumbs up.

“ALRIGHT! Let’s do this Smash!” exclaims Sgt. Griggs.

The helicopter lands, Smash takes off. He’s making great time and the officers at command are very impressed. Smash relays back to command.

“Alright, I’m almost in the bunker.”

He charges into the bunker and sees the nuclear device.

“I have a visual on the nuclear missile. Alright, I’m about to grab it and haul back y’all. Its how the Smash do baby!”

Suddenly, a voice calls out from a hallway.

“Not so fast Smash.”

Smash sees the silhouette of a wheelchair rolling down towards him covered in shadows. The man stands up. It’s Jason Street.

“STREET?! YOU CAN WALK?! AND YOU’RE IN AL QAEDA!!!! OH HELL NO!!!”

TO BE CONTINUED.


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